no, he came in my armpit
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize