sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
