The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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