id be glad to
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
