i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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