one two three fourrrrnication!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize