didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
