We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
