chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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