Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is classic penis vs brain.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
