Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
please come you make the beer taste better
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
