Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
