there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
