i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
