I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
