I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Green mimosas i think yes
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
