It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
