Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Randomize
