If i could tip my vagina, i would.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We got so high we made milksteak
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
