Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
