yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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