i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
