Rock
Scissors
Fuck
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have aggressive nipples.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
