It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
