can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
