im about as happy as oj after his trial
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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