What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
whose parrot is this?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
