I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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