I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
