wakey wakey hands off snakey
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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