Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
