Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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