Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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