He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
