I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
