Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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