dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize