He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
