So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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