Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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