I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
