i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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