What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
