so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
