Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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