Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
