Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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