You're so nebulous sometimes
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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