is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
