i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
