Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My cat gives me a boner
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
