I skipped work to stalk him.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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