There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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