dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
how drunk are you?
Several
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
