I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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