Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
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When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE