Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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(248): Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy! http://tfl.nu/x7i6

Replies (4) Good night (2186) Bad night (1253)
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(480): View more from Arizona

he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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(480): he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug http://tfl.nu/z2q2

Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (4864)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Operation Purity has been aborted

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(306): Operation Purity has been aborted http://tfl.nu/jf4h

Replies (24) Good night (6571) Bad night (1323)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

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(609): There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled http://tfl.nu/cbhx

Replies (8) Good night (5270) Bad night (940)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

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(202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5

Replies (67) Good night (8637) Bad night (2130)
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(817): View more from Texas

despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds

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(817): despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds http://tfl.nu/p6zs

Replies (29) Good night (999) Bad night (3688)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.

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(+44): I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon. http://tfl.nu/t0p2

Replies (5) Good night (4780) Bad night (1535)
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(530): View more from California

He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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(530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw

Replies (6) Good night (2025) Bad night (2800)
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(785): View more from Kansas

MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.

(207): View more from Maine

HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.

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(785): MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped. (207): HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME. http://tfl.nu/4n05

Replies (21) Good night (3262) Bad night (2159)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.

(770): View more from Georgia

Dude. Do it.

(678): View more from Georgia

Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?

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(678): So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out. (770): Dude. Do it. (678): Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober? http://tfl.nu/58ew

Replies (16) Good night (4514) Bad night (758)
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(941): View more from Florida

I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

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(941): I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head. http://tfl.nu/zqfr

Replies (4) Good night (1296) Bad night (731)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.

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(901): She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid. http://tfl.nu/lor2

Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (558)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed

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(204): But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed http://tfl.nu/dvif

Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (239)
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(214): View more from Texas

Blow job season was short but glorious.

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(214): Blow job season was short but glorious. http://tfl.nu/338e

Replies (8) Good night (572) Bad night (295)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..

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(973): I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter.. http://tfl.nu/t4wg

Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (523)

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