Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?

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  (502): It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it? http://tfl.nu/bh2w
  Replies (13) Good night (607) Bad night (4345)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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  (763): there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it http://tfl.nu/ck34
  Replies (50) Good night (1724) Bad night (3354)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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  (408): Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling. http://tfl.nu/ek2q
  Replies (26) Good night (827) Bad night (4358)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.

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  (330): he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present. http://tfl.nu/lnnv
  Replies (5) Good night (2166) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."

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  (216): Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect." http://tfl.nu/19ko
  Replies (9) Good night (3123) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You are such a cockblock sometimes

  (661): View more from California

  You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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  (805): You are such a cockblock sometimes (661): You NEED a cockblock sometimes http://tfl.nu/zl8e
  Replies (10) Good night (4640) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (+36): View more from

  until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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  (+36): until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober. http://tfl.nu/a4ay
  Replies (4) Good night (2241) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.

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  (508): she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking. http://tfl.nu/8dis
  Replies (15) Good night (718) Bad night (3675)
• Favorite

  (+01): View more from

  I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom

  (1+01): View more from

  your the Dr. Phil in my life

  (+01): View more from

  Today is an unchanging day

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  (+01): I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom (1+01): your the Dr. Phil in my life (+01): Today is an unchanging day http://tfl.nu/6nwn
  Replies (1) Good night (1002) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.

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  (215): There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her. http://tfl.nu/lhzd
  Replies (11) Good night (1330) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.

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  (+49): Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/6o3i
  Replies (7) Good night (600) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!

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  (832): I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM! http://tfl.nu/isug
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.

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  (919): They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am. http://tfl.nu/0bdo
  Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.

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  (203): My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice. http://tfl.nu/5nl5
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.

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  (915): Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist. http://tfl.nu/1ory
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (223)

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