Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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(518): View more from New York

i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?

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(520): View more from Arizona

I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?

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