addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
