no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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